Sheriff's Drunk

Year 1999
Written by Charles Jones
Artist The Shiners

Sheriff's Drunk

by The Shiners

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Song Lyric

Midnight on the highway
Looking every which-a way
Headed for the county line
Making their getaway
Guess they went that-a way
Listening for that siren's whine

They dropped their mash
They copped their cash
Hauling fifty gallons in the trunk
But they ain't gotta worry
There's no need to hurry
The sheriff's drunk

And he's got White Lightning on the seat
Black Jack underneath
A holster full of Bristol Cream
He's got wine in the rifle rack
Another case in the back
His ammo is a shot of Jim Beam
He throws hisself in the tank
But then he pulls rank
He just can't keep hisself in
Yeah, it oughta be a felony
The way he's smelling
The sheriff's got drunk again

Yes and don't come crying
If you're bleeding and dying
Don't bother calling 911
If you're reporting misdemeanors
You've been taken to the cleaners
You'll just be wasting time, son

Well some little dicken's
Been stealing your chickens
Your daughter's run off with a punk
You better catch 'em yourself
The sheriff ain't no help
The sheriff's drunk


The board of deacons
Had a little meeting
They were talking hellfire come
The deacon's testifying
While the sheriff, he's a-crying
And swearing off demon rum
But early Sunday morning
Preacher got a warning
"Better haul yourself outta your bunk."
The sheriff's in the pulpit
The deacon's talking bullshit
And the whole congregation's drunk